Until the last four years, I’ve spent my whole life in places that had four seasons. When I first moved to LA, I spent the first two years complaining that there was no fall, no real spring, and no snow for Christmas (is it even Christmas without snow?). I liked the changes; I got bored with one kind of weather for too long.
However, when it comes to life’s seasons, I’m much more drawn to the idea of an endless summer. As little negative change as possible, please! Winter is not welcome here, not in my life, no sir. Except, as I begrudgingly know, it doesn’t work that way. It’s felt like my husband and I have been in a winter of sorts almost from the beginning of our marriage 9 months ago. Finally, it seems like spring may be coming. There are definite signs. But this past week has felt more like a Minnesota spring- the kind where it finally warms up to the 60s in April and everyone is out playing and feeling the warmth of the sun only to have it dive back down into the teens for another two weeks and you’re left cursing into your wool scarf. This roller coaster week has not been my favorite, and frankly, I’m tired of winter. I realize that the height of summer is probably a ways down the road for us, but it’s so hard to picture even spring at this point. I have such grand dreams for our lives, but the ground is too frozen to plant them yet.
But I think I’m finally realizing that I can’t live in hope of one day planting my dreams. I have to start that now, in the small ways that I can. So, every day now, I take a moment to remind myself to be grateful. It may be winter, but I have the things I need to keep warm. I may not have a job, but my husband does, and it’s finally one that he loves. We may not be able to afford anything outside of the necessities, but we have food in our fridge and generous friends right around the corner. I know spring will come eventually, and I will be so, so grateful when it does. But I’m trying to also be grateful right now, in the midst of this seemingly endless winter. I’m planting my dreams with little seeds of gratefulness, and a lot of hope.
(photo by Wendy)